"Positive Vibes Only" May Not Be So "Positive" After all...
I don’t necessarily agree with this new wave of “positive vibes only”…
"If we only allow in or surround ourselves with "positive people" and "positive vibes" we are missing opportunities for growth that come from what our clever ego interprets as "positive" vs. "negative" and the healing that occurs when we negate the unfamiliar of the perceived "negative" feelings."
Even though positivity has long been my main default, I’ve realized this can actually be detrimental because it overrides what is under the surface and the “mask” that's put on while pretending that everything is okay, not wanting to make others uncomfortable, meanwhile dismissing my own feelings and needs. Even if I think I’m doing a great job wearing the “positive mask”, the reality is I’m not – because what is under the surface is going to seep out in my body language, facial features, and my voice. It used to come out in passive aggressive ways which was a sign that something was wrong. I’ve learned to become aware of the earlier signs when something is off, but it has taken YEARS of practice to unwire the 30 something years of my default “positive mode” to something that is more authentic in the moment when something is just “not right”.
Removing the "Rose-Colored Sunglasses"...
It may sound strange to some, but I have honestly had to teach myself what “negative” or heavy emotions are and what those emotions feel like in my body. Fear, anger, and frustration were so foreign even though I would experience them inside, I was unaware of them. They’d easily become overridden in messages like “everything is fine” “it could be a lot worse”… I’d became victim to the feelings wondering “why is this happening to me” or resort to fixing the feelings, fixing the other person or trying to control the situation, or be in complete avoidance of the feelings by not speaking up to avoid conflict… “I don’t want to feel this right now so I will do everything to avoid this heaviness even if that means dismissing my truth and my needs”. In the process of not honoring my true feelings and needs, I became disempowered, I gave my power to other people, and situations became contorted.
Now, I know when a part of me is trying to distract myself from what I’m feeling, it’s often a heavier uncomfortable emotion for me that is asking to be seen, heard, felt, and honored. It’s my responsibility to catch it before it shows up in other ways and gets entangled in other emotions or situations beyond the core feeling.
Taking the time – even just a few minutes to honor how I truly feel may not always be comfortable, but it is necessary.
Mindfulness based practices like yoga and meditation help one attune their awareness to the present state which is crucial in helping change subconscious patterns and beliefs to better make conscious choices and decisions. We can't expect to be only surrounded by "positive vibes", nor can we control what happens to us, but we can change how we respond - and that's were the true spiritual growth is.